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Fat | Being Fat

The Costs of Being Fat

I had a call with Scott Colby aka “The Abs Expert” last week. We talked about belly fat and his questions brought some interesting answers and the one that caught both our attention was my answer that had me listing out the “costs” of being fat or having belly fat. Not exactly monetary costs although there are some… but more along the “bigger picture” costs…

1. Being an EXAMPLE of health, fitness and nutrition for my kids: Don’t tell them, Show them! My children will never remember me at this weight. They will know me as someone who doesn’t over eat and a dad who always is ready to be active in their lives of sports activities. COST: stay fat and children see it as acceptable, they will lack discipline and true confidence of well being. I lose the opportunity of seeing them being all they can be if I don’t offer them the tools and ideals to emulate.

2. Staying True to your spouse: True? Yes I think the challenges of rich or poor, good times and bad all have a better chance of working themselves out if you are “the best you can be” in the areas of physical appearance and vitality. It is unfair even for one spouse to add on weight and then give up with no efforts at maintaining a “fit” appearance. Aside from getting ill and not living a long life possibly with your mate it often turns into 2 people letting themselves go which can cause issues with confidence, resentment, reclusive behavior and a list of  other side-effects in the areas of intimacy and sex. You cannot sit around waiting for the other to “get into shape” or to accept you as a fat person who is not at least willing to “try” to return to that fighting weight you were the day you got married. COST: huge relationship challenges and downsides if 1 or both partners get fat. Anger bubbles up and things happen that wouldn’t normally happen if you were tight, toned, fit and emotionally available to each other versus being stuck inside the clutches of yo-yo diet syndromes, nervous visits to the Doctor and wondering if things are going to work out. the mind can run away on you during insecurity.

3.  Your Real Career: If you ever wanted to land that job that didn’t feel like work, being in shape, fit and confident can sure assist with opportunity. It has taken me over 15 years to be doing something that doesn’t feel like work. Most of what I do today I would do for free if I did not need money. It’s not like playing Golf, Hockey or going to concerts for a living… but it is the closest I have ever come to that. Now I arrived here Fat. The bonus is that I realized that in order to really explode my business into a place where I work less and still earn a decent living I need to be an Athlete! The physical and mental health ideals I am shooting for will allow me to tap into the confidence, risk-taking ideas and language sets that are needed to complete my vision boards and bucket lists that include living an extraordinary life with my wife and 2 children. COST : This area here has cost me thousands of dollars as I “settled” many times for jobs that required only 30-40% of my attention span… I didn’t want the challenges as “fear” was close by all the time while I packed on another 5 pounds in the fat race. So my salary, bonuses or opportunities never seemed to add up to my true ability until recently. Yes my weight had a part in this.

Excuses Be GoneI feel that the 3 things I mention above can work together and be at their absolute strongest when in sync. If I give up one area so that I can get things going well in another it never seems to pan out. This myth of “its tuff to balance” is a paradigm in a sense… “We are what we think about all day long”…is one of the most profound quotes of our time and I am putting efforts in a little each day with plans, dreams, goals and self talk to go along with it… World class of course… and it’s working…at it’s own pace. It is not instant…. I am learning patience  and I am “causing” momentum and alot of my successes so far including some important breakthroughs have shown up because of my dedication to better nutrition and sticking to my fitness commitment. It starts on the inside.

What would your life look like today if you were that exact weight you knew you were born to be?

Obviously people who are in good shape all don’t have perfect careers and relationships…etc.. but living in the City of FAT or the Town of In-Activeness for a number of years… I would say drops your chances of living a life FULL ON! Make the shift! It is amazing once you begin to take the BIG BACK PACK of DENIAL off and refocus on “Possibilities”

Excuses not to do things

Maybe You Are Just Making Excuses

It’s one thing to see someone else in denial that you love. You want to help them, fix them and make things better. What about you? What about leading by example. I’ve studied self development on and off for 20 years. My father was doing it for as long as I can remember. So I was lucky to pick up this habit. Plus moving into a career in Sales I was told I needed a positive attitude, I needed to set goals, repetition is the mother of skill they told me…. from Tony Robbins to Wayne Dyer and all kinds of others in-between… I immersed myself at times with these messages and teachers… and many situations were overcome with confidence that spilled over from this connection to these books, seminars and CD programs.

Well stopping that connection to those activities is like stopping going to the gym or eating properly… its a slow but steady slide back to negative thoughts and average behaviors. These last 4 weeks I jumped off the deep end into the pool of “Anythings Possible” again and it has been beyond refreshing.

For some people who struggle in life and don’t have the tools or were never even shown “the way” as I was it can be pretty tough unless they are vigilant in their search for “breakthroughs”. Now for myself, I know what works and have experienced success with coaching and mental toughness many times but somehow I got a little lost over the past 5-7 years. Knowing what to do and not doing it is almost insanity, major denial and living a life of excuses.

So I have a couple of CD programs I carry with me now from my home office to the car and I am listening non stop…. like a sponge, I am soaking it all in. I am speaking a different language now in my head and out loud. I am trying to help others as I help myself. There is something bigger here for me and I deserve it as do those around me. I’ve been goal setting and even dug out a Michael Jordan book that was bought for me like 4 years ago. Although I am not a sports nut…I do like most sports and recently with my son playing hockey and soccer I am taking on more interest and it feels good. This is the life I was meant to live.

Athletes like Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Bobby Orr I love to read about… their Drive, Commitment and Determination to succeed at winning or setting records in their field. wow! It makes me want to run and humbles me largely in the “effort dept”. I started watching Michael Jordan videos on youtube one night last week and got lost for 45 minutes. Why didn’t I watch him more when he played? I couldn’t believe what I was seeing… This is the type of motivation I like… it challenges me mentally. Makes me want to push and explore my limits/beliefs as a person in the areas of being an athlete, as a father, as a husband, brother and friend. At 40 I may not be going into professional sports anytime soon… but what is stopping me from putting the world-class efforts into the areas I listed in the previous sentence? What would my/your life look like if I/we practiced like Jordan and were as dedicated as Terry Fox to being in shape and and living life FULL OUT !!!!

Thinking Positive as an Attitude Abstract Concept

How to Kick Start Positive Self Talk

The voice or committee inside your head can really steer the ship into crazy waters sometimes. Anytime I allow thoughts of how many things I have to do, which payments are coming out of my bank account and 15 other things from my kids to work… Anxiety starts to flow into my bloodstream. Now this can go on for days, weeks, months and years… if you allow it to. Medication? Not for me… seems like a band-aid solution.

So how do we inject the positive self talk?

1. Time Management is one foot out of the “negative quicksand”. I took a course years ago along with various other books and ideas on getting the LIST out of your head and on to paper. Evenings are the best times for this purging. Take out a day-timer, journal or grab a sheet from the printer and start to write down all of your TO-DO List. Make a business list and a personal list. Set the list out for tomorrow and this will allow for the rest of your evening to be more clear and you will feel better. The voices do get quieter.

Get Tough !2. Book or Audio Book – What goes in must come out right? Put down the People Magazine or Newspaper and get something inspirational in your hands/ears. I started this audio program two weeks ago called “177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class“. It’s turned my head upside down in so many ways for the better. WOW. I am eating better, made it to the gym, lost a couple of pounds, started this blog, wrote down some goals and my step out the door in the morning is much more enjoyable.

Listening to this program everyday has challenged the “winner” inside of me to wake up, get out of bed and get into the drivers seat… bumping out the “old me” who was basically dying. My positive self-talk is gaining momentum and it is spilling out into other areas of my life that is in need of a renovation.

robot dance

Dancing at Starbucks

Coffee BreakSo I am in Starbucks this morning and hear “Love Song” by The Cure… while standing in line. The line seem to take forever as I transported myself back to 1989 and remembered… what felt like just an overall feeling of being a teenager again and that era of music. Now comes the funny part. I’ve ordered my Tall  “Americano” and proceed a few feet over into another line waiting behind 3 other people for my morning blaster…. well I drift back into the song and all of a sudden I felt like dancing? You have to be kidding right? – I mean.. I borderline started to move my left leg? As I snapped out of this and tried not to laugh out loud… I realized that I was in a good mood.

So it’s one thing to have that “good feeling” and another to actually “notice” it’s happening. The past 10 days or so of positive movement has really taken hold of me, Tapped me on the shoulder and said “come on, your coming with me” … I’ve turned the corner and am ready to go for a long walk with my old friend motivation.